Helpful advice for Americans going to the Vancouver Olympic Games

Americans arriving to enjoy Vancouver Olympic Games

The U.S. government is at it again. Along with the extremely useless colour-coded warning signs at airports that seem to be permanently stuck on orange (high terrorist alert), the government is now warning U.S. tourists who are attending the Winter Olympic Games in Vancouver next month to be on the alert for terrorists.

"Al-Qaeda's demonstrated capability to carry out sophisticated attacks against sizable structures - such as ships, large office buildings, embassies and hotels - makes it one of the greatest potential threats to the Olympics," the U.S. State Department said in a fact sheet on the Games posted on its website.

No specific credible threats have been identified, the U.S. government said. However, Americans planning to attend Olympic events or participate in large-scale public gatherings during the Winter Games should use caution and be alert to their surroundings, the advisory said.

Americans are advised to be especially alert when outside Olympic venues. "As security increases in and around Olympic venues, terrorists could shift their focus to more unprotected Olympic venues, open spaces, hotels, railway and other transportation systems, churches, restaurants and other sites not associated with the Olympics."

As an aide to potential American visitors, I thought I would add some specificity to the State Department’s unhelpful and completely ass-covering advice.

It is important to note that many people in Vancouver look like terrorists. I don’t know what it is about the west coast, but boy do the weirdoes ever like flock there. For an American, stay on orange alert the whole time you are there.

In case you are wondering what an Al-Qaeda guy looks like, below is typical example. Look closely at his features and his dress.


Also, Al-Qaeda has been known to recruit women, so examine the appearance of this one for clues.

Now here is the most likely person you might meet in Vancouver. He is not Al-Qaeda, he is a Sikh. Note closely the difference between his appearance and Al-Qaeda guy. It should be obvious.

You will find Sikhs predominately driving taxis, so they will be around hotels, restaurants, railways and other transportation sites. It is most unlikely to find them in churches, unlike Al-Qaeda guys who apparently will pray anywhere.

You will find Sikhs in abundance at malls. But why would you be going to malls anyway? The goods are not nearly as worthwhile purchasing as your own American offerings in terms of selection, styles, sizes, etc. and you will be paying big Canadian taxes you would avoid by shopping for the same unnecessary stuff in the U.S.

Why should you distinguish Sikhs from Al-Qaeda? Well, for one thing Sikhs don’t generally subscribe to the view that the only good American is a dead one. The same cannot be said for Al-Qaeda.

Sikhs sometimes wear a ceremonial dagger called a Kirpan. It is legal in Canada, even in schools. Al-Qaeda guys usually sport an AK-47, but as these are illegal in Canada it would be exceptional if you spotted somebody with one of these in Vancouver. However, if you do, leave the area at once.

You don’t want to cause a panic by alerting security personnel to the presence of a terrorist unless you are completely sure the person in question is an Al-Qaeda guy, because the immediate vicinity will be quarantined and you will be held up for hours by police and soldiers and will lose your restaurant reservations.

To avoid this problem, you could employ self-help, the way the passengers on the Detroit-bound plane did recently.

Stroll up to him and engage him in casual chit chat. Ask him how long he is will be in Vancouver. Ask him what he thinks of the city. If he indicates that he is here for the Olympics, ask him what his favourite sport is. Then while he is thinking about his answer, quickly ask him who he thinks is the world’s best cricket bowler. If he doesn’t immediately snap out two or three names that all sound South Asian then you might be dealing with an Al-Qaeda guy who will looked puzzled and simply shrug his shoulders.

If that happens then ask him if he likes the Biathlon. If he is an Al-Qaeda guy he has got to like that one. Anything involving shooting is big turn-on for these folks. You can seal the deal by immediately asking him if he knows the muzzle-velocity for an AK-47. If he quickly responds with 2,300 feet per second, you have pretty much nailed him. A Sikh will only looked puzzled and shrug his shoulders.

Here is a sure fire way to sniff out Al-Qaeda guy. Wait until you are in a crowded elevator or standing in a long line waiting to get into an event or a restaurant. Then shout as loud as you can, "Takbir!" If the suspect shoots up his fist and responds with "Allahu Akbar!" you know he’s the real deal.

I hope this has been more helpful than the advice of Hillary Clinton’s minions and, if you can leave your terror aside for few days, enjoy yourself.

Welcome to Canada.

George Jonas: "Jihad rules! Jews suck!"

A lady who once worked for me as an executive assistant and who is now in her early fifties came to Canada from the Ukraine when she was two years of age. She speaks Ukrainian (poorly by her admission) and English excellently. Her mother, who has now resided in downtown Toronto for half a century, does not speak a word of English. She has never had to learn it. She lives in a largely Ukrainian neighbourhood and can get virtually any service in her native language. Occasionally when she had to see a non-Ukrainian medical specialist, her daughter would accompany her to translate.

In this part of Canada, the story of this unassimilated woman is not unique.

I mention this because for some time now there has been a hue and cry raised over the state policy of multiculturalism. We have had this in Canada as official policy since the 1970s. The anguish about multiculturalism is that there is no incentive for ethnic pockets to assimilate with the general population. Questions regarding inter-ethnic strife, human rights, and general loyalty to the country are raised within the umbrella of the multicultural policy.

However, my Ukrainian example goes back to the 1950s, long before the so-called multicultural mosaic was identified as a cultural phenomenon and then subsequently embraced by the polity as policy. I don’t believe for a second that my friend’s mother would have lived a different life whether there was a state policy regarding her culture or not, except for one that might have discriminated against her for not assimilating.

Ukrainians, for the most part, belong to the Eastern Orthodox Christian church, the remnant of the old Byzantine Empire, which, in turn, was the remnant of the eastern half of the old Roman Empire. My executive assistant used to take days off work to celebrate “Ukrainian Christmas” and “Ukrainian New Year”, which arrived later in the calendar than the national statutory holidays of Christmas and New Year.

Except for this departure, I would never have identified her culture as being religiously determined. Ukrainians have distinctive native costumes, peasant wear, which they trot out during Ukrainian cultural festivals. Generally, however, in dress and conduct they are indistinguishable from the great mass of other Canadians.

This brings me to a rather misleading column by the otherwise excellent journalist, George Jonas, in today’s National Post.

Jonas is commenting on the published e-mails that passed amongst the female relatives and friends of the famous “Toronto 18”. These are the alleged wannabe Islamic terrorists who were supposedly plotting to blow up the Toronto Stock Exchange, CSIS (Canada’s anti-terrorist organization), and storm the Parliament buildings and behead the Prime Minister.

He is struck by the fact that the hatred of the women towards Canada and some members of the Canadian community, namely homosexuals, are expressed primarily in idiomatic English.

The remarkable thing was seeing their admiration and hatred posted, not in a foreign language, not in misspelled, broken English, but in the colloquial idiom of soccer moms in Toronto's bedroom community of Mississauga.

He then extrapolates from this the following conclusion.

By offering the views of Wahhabist Islam on homosexuals in words she borrowed directly from our culture, Ms. N was demonstrating that acculturation, a much-touted remedy for the risk of fragmentation in immigrant societies, isn't all that it's cracked up to be.

I don’t want to sound to picky, but I have always considered English to be nothing more than a language, a language of convenience, if you like, when you live in a county where 90% the population converses in it and where it is an official language by law.

I never thought of it as being “culturally distinctive” such that its use by an Arab would be considered remarkable. To be sure, within the confines of the language, there are cultural markers – expressions used to describe things that would be associated with someone from Canada rather than someone from England or Australia or the United States. But that is not what Jonas is talking about.

What he is on about is how a cultural norm, in this case Arabic, survives long after someone has been swimming in the deep end of the cultural pool of Canada.

Our great-grandfathers assessed matters more accurately. They had taken it for granted that integration is a process of considerable complexity that occurs over historic time. It isn't achieved by a quick immersion in another culture, even when the immersion is … superficially complete. Our generation not only overestimated the effects of such cultural silver-plating, but tried reducing it even further by the imposition of multiculturalism.

Cultural silver-plating may not achieve much beyond teaching al-Qaeda idiomatic English anyway, but multiculturalism makes it stick even less and wear off even quicker. Cultural silver-plating may produce amusing incongruities, like jihadists with pre-nuptial agreements and Wahhabi feminists who retain their maiden names after marriage. But computer-literate fundamentalists take us no closer to a harmonious society. They only illustrate how ultra-liberal policies, slogans and practices confuse and alienate vulnerable youngsters of foreign ancestry and increase the number of our solitudes.

I don’t believe multicultural policies and practices have anything to do with alienation of these young women.

This is because they do not have a culture distinct from their religion, unlike my Ukrainian examples. Islam determines their culture, on everything from defecating rituals, to eating habits, to attitudes towards non-Muslims, and so on. I am surprised that Jonas would overlook this cultural influence and chalk up assimilation failure to the straw man of multicultural policy.

It is the religion, dear boy, and that is what you should be targeting.

Public protests in a democratic society

In a liberal democracy the right to dissent and protest by minorities is a given. It is just part of the democratic fabric we admire in our secular system.

Periodically the streets around our capital buildings get choked with farmers protesting farm policies or truckers objecting to high diesel fuel prices or over-bearing regulations. These demonstrations last a day, inconvenience other people who need to use those streets, garner some media stories and photo-ops, and then fade from memory.

With a huge immigrant population, Canada has been treated to the new phenomenon of street protests over wars and injustices in far flung parts of the globe that have little relevance to Canada geographically or politically. We seem to be paralyzed by these protests. To what extent should we tolerate them?

If you go near any Chinese government building you will regularly find Chinese protestors carrying signs and handing out literature decrying the plight of Falun Gong practitioners in China. Falun Gong is a meditative spiritual movement that has been outlawed by the Chinese government. Its leaders and adherents have been jailed, tortured, and there is some evidence have even been killed for their organs. Yet, the streets are not blocked to bring this injustice to light and life for the other citizens goes on.

It could not be otherwise, because the practitioners of Falun Gong are essentially pacifists, so comparison with other grievance groups is not that instructive.

Closer to home is the relationship between native Indians and the larger society.

A few years ago, native Indian protestors began a campaign of public harassment to draw attention to various issues that were bugging those folks. In some instances, not only were roads and railroads blocked, but public and private property was damaged or destroyed. This culminated in an unfortunate shooting death of an Indian protestor by a policeman and a subsequent political firestorm over his death.

Then, more than two years ago, Indians moved in and occupied a tract of land near Caledonia, Ontario. That they were there illegally is beyond question. They have remained there ever since and the occupation has been accompanied by a kind of “wild west” string of violence, intimidation, and property damage. The Ontario Provincial Police has lost credibility because it is seen as an enabler of this illegal and violent activity.

A few months ago, pro-Hamas protestors marched in various cities to object to the fighting between Israel and Hamas. In Calgary they targeted a shopping mall owned by Jews (not Israelis). A few counter-protestors showed up. The police chased them away.

So, with all those examples of how our authorities deal with disruptive ethnic protests, sitting on their thumbs in the legislatures, and the police enabling the disruption, even in the in the name of support for terrorist organizations (financial support for which is a criminal offense in this country), what do the Tamils who wish to protest the 26 year civil war in Sri Lanka learn. They know that they can shut down Canada’s largest city and openly carry the banners of a terrorist organization with impunity.

It is in the nature of the militants to always try to push the envelope a little farther. The Tamils outraged the Citizens of Toronto when they took their children onto an elevated expressway which they closed down for some five hours.

You have to draw the line somewhere and it is time that our craven, vote-seeking politicians stopped being afraid of every ethnic minority with a gripe and started drafting some reasonable and balanced protest laws that allow democracy to run its course while protecting the rights of others, and making sure that the police enforce those rules. It would also be advisable to draft some rules regarding the safety of children in such protests and pinning responsibility on their parents.

We have managed to achieve a reasonable balance or rights with labour protests and strikes, so why should ethnic minorities be treated differently than we treat our labour unions?

It's always something

What I like about reading the news everyday is the surprises I often find. Things unknown before or a little out of the ordinary.

Today I learned that outgoing President Bush has left a personal note to incoming President Obama in the top drawer of the desk in the Oval Office. This was a practice that started with Ronald Reagan who left one for his successor, and presidents have been doing it ever since. Of, course the mainstream media would have you believe that these are "welcome to the office and good luck" notes.

Don't be fooled for a minute. These notes are to advise the incoming guy that there really are pieces of a crashed alien spaceship and alien remains cryogenically frozen in Area 51, and that the staff on site serves a really good lunch if the President wants to visit.

On another topic, a couple of years ago there was huge flap in Canada over the fact that a Canadian Muslim guy named Maher Arar, who was connecting on a flight through New York was picked up by the Americans and rendered to Syria where he was tortured for a year as a potential terrorist. On returning to Canada, after much ado, we paid this guy $10.5 million for his pain and suffering. However, we could not persuade our American cousins to remove his name from their "no-fly" list, and we couldn't figure out why.

It turns out that our other favourite Canadian terrorist, Omar Khadr, who has been languishing in a jail in Guantanamo, awaiting a trial that should never take place, had identified Arar from a photograph in 2002 as somebody he had seen at an al-Qaida terrorist training camp in Afghanistan. Khadr said he never met Arar in Canada. Arar was living in Ottawa and Khadr was living in Toronto.

All very curious, said the cat.

Mr.McCoy, you're needed in Canada

I am a big fan of the television show, Law and Order, as well as a couple of its spinoffs. I particularly like the tough prosecutor, Jack McCoy. He is ruthless and devious, hatching all sorts of strategies to force reluctant testimonies. Seldom do we see him flummoxed by his witnesses changing their testimony on the witness stand.

In what is yet another blow to the case against the alleged wannabe Muslim terrorists in Toronto, a prosecution witness has changed his testimony on the witness stand and forced the prosecutor to impeach him. In this instance, Sahl Syed, a 21-year old University of Toronto student, dismissed any thoughts that the training camp he attended with the accused was anything but a boys' weekend frolic in the park. According to the prosecutor, this is not the sinister testimony that he voluntarily came forward with and gave to the police three weeks after the arrests of the conspirators was announced.

This is beginning to smell like an organized set-up to sabotage the credibility of Canada's security and police services.

What can you buy with $300,000? A whole lot of Al-Takeyya, apparently

Photo of Mubin Shaihk, courtesy of The Toronto Star

What can you buy for $300,000 these days?

Two years ago there was a huge media flare up when combined police forces and the Canadian Security Intelligence Service (CSIS) allegedly cracked a nest of 18 wannabe Muslim terrorists. Since then the number has dwindled to 11, with charges against 7 being stayed.

The trial of these folks that has been trundling along for a week suddenly took a steep dive south yesterday and the day before.

The prosecutor's case mainly hangs on the testimony of a police informant, Mubin Shaikh, who was paid $300,000 for his services in infiltrating the group and attending its alleged terrorist training camp. Two days ago, under cross examination, the witness agreed with a defence lawyer that the leader of the group was engaging in a fantasy world with his calls for jihad. He also contradicted other evidence he had given by saying that the youth at the camp did not know its real purpose. Yesterday, the prosecutor turned on its own witness and, in effect, called him a liar.

I loved Shaikh's response to this attack: "I seek refuge with Allah for such an implication."

I remember when these guys were arrested how the authorities went out of their way to describe them in ways that had nothing whatsoever to do with Islam: "They come from all walks of life." When you are a lawyer there is no substitute for thorough research. A little less analysis from the perspective of political correctness and more Islamic scholarship would have better suited the purpose. The prosecutor ought to have familiarized himself with the concept of Al-Takeyya.

See a fuller explanation of this religiously sanctioned practice of deception at this site, but the shorter version is outlined below.

Lying in Islam

By Abdullah Al Araby

Like most religions, Islam in general, forbids lying. The Quran says, "Truly Allah guides not one who transgresses and lies." Surah 40:28. In the Hadith, Mohammed was also quoted as saying, "Be honest because honesty leads to goodness, and goodness leads to Paradise. Beware of falsehood because it leads to immorality, and immorality leads to Hell."

However, unlike most religions, within Islam there are certain provisions under which lying is not simply tolerated, but actually encouraged. The book "The spirit of Islam," by the Muslim scholar, Afif A. Tabbarah was written to promote Islam. On page 247, Tabbarah stated: "Lying is not always bad, to be sure; there are times when telling a lie is more profitable and better for the general welfare, and for the settlement of conciliation among people, than telling the truth. To this effect, the Prophet says: 'He is not a false person who (through lies) settles conciliation among people, supports good or says what is good."

... lying is a common policy amongst Islamic clerics and statesmen.

This point is proven by many incidences in the life of Mohammed. He often lied and instructed his followers to do the same. He rationalized that the prospect of success in missions to extend Islam's influence overrode Allah's initial prohibitions against lying.

Provisions for lying in Islam

Most Muslims are familiar with the principles of Islam that will justify lying in situations where they sense the need to do so. Among these are:

War is deception.
The necessities justify the forbidden.
If faced by two evils, choose the lesser of the two.

These principles are derived from passages found in the Quran and the Hadith.

... the Quran clearly reveal that Muslims' unintentional lies are forgivable and that even their intentional lies can be absolved by performing extra duties. It is also clear that if forced to do so, Muslims can lie while under oath and can even falsely deny faith in Allah, as long as they maintain the profession of faith in their hearts.

In the Hadith, Mohammed, emphasizes the same concept.

From "Ehiaa Oloum al-Din," by the famous Islamic scholar al-Ghazali, Vol. 3: PP.284-287:
One of Mohammed's daughters, Umm Kalthoum, testified that she had never heard the Apostle of God condone lying, except in these three situations:

For reconciliation among people.
In war.
Amongst spouses, to keep peace in the family.

The principle of Al-Takeyya

The Arabic word, "Takeyya", means "to prevent," or guard against. The principle of Al Takeyya conveys the understanding that Muslims are permitted to lie as a preventive measure against anticipated harm to one's self or fellow Muslims. This principle gives Muslims the liberty to lie under circumstances that they perceive as life threatening. They can even deny the faith, if they do not mean it in their hearts.

...a Muslim can pretend to befriend infidels (in violation of the teachings of Islam) and display adherence with their unbelief to prevent them from harming him.

Under the concept of Takeyya and short of killing another human being, if under the threat of force, it is legitimate for Muslims to act contrary to their faith. The following actions are acceptable:

Drink wine, abandon prayers, and skip fasting during Ramadan.
Renounce belief in Allah.
Kneel in homage to a deity other than Allah.
Utter insincere oaths.

The implications of the principle of Al-Takeyya

Unfortunately, when dealing with Muslims, one must keep in mind that Muslims can communicate something with apparent sincerity, when in reality they may have just the opposite agenda in their hearts. Bluntly stated, Islam permits Muslims to lie anytime that they perceive that their own well-being, or that of Islam, is threatened.
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